“THAT IS AN ENORMOUS PENIS.”
My professor, casually flipping through a coffee table book of pictures while the rest of us were having normal class conversation.
I successfully ate four bites of bagel for breakfast!!!
I’m so relieved they didn’t exploit Amy Adams’s sadness about PSH by showing her post-In Memoriam because my own sadness about him is already more than too much for me to handle.
Everyone in this room is attracted to the entire Leto family, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Tonight we went to dinner at this Irish pub-style restaurant we like, because JP had a craving for shepherd’s pie and the rest of us had a craving for black & tans. I ran in ahead of the rest of the party to grab a table while they parked, and the hostess, while leading me to our table, kept asking me questions like, “Are you enjoying your visit?” and “Does the rainstorm make you feel at home?” which I could not figure out at the time, but now I get it: she thought I was an actual from-Ireland Irish person.
Rules: Always post the rules. Answer the questions of the person who tagged you and write 11 new ones. Tag 11 people and link them. Let them know they are tagged. (Thank you, sarahbee-in-the-stacks, for these questions!)
1) Top three kinds of cheese?
This is, like, the toughest question, but: goat cheese, bleu cheese, and ricotta.
2) In the event of a zombie apocalypse, how quickly do you think you’d die?
I have good survival instincts and am good at getting shit done when it needs to be done, so I could survive for a while, but I think after a while I’d be like, ehhhh, is this going to be forever? and give up on trying to get by.
3) Which character from Saved By the Bell do you most identify with?
4) Do you currently have outstanding fines at a public or academic library?
No, but as a child, I racked up a $50 public library fine that went on my mom’s credit report. Oops.
5) Where do you stand on the leggings as pants debate?
Leggings are an acceptable pants substitute in casual contexts, especially if you’re wearing an oversized button-down/sweater as a shirt.
5) If you were a woodland creature, what woodland creature would you be?
6) What article of clothing do you most regret having worn in public?
Light denim bell bottoms. With a floral dress over them.
7) What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in front of an employer?
He wasn’t my employer, but when I was in my MA program, I dropped my (BRIGHT PURPLE) bra on a professor’s shoe.
8) What meal is the best to eat when you’ve had a terrible, no good day?
Macaroni and cheese. Or McDonald’s chicken nuggets and fries. Or a really good, greasy bacon cheeseburger.
9) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or ThunderCats?
10) What is your favorite purchase of the past year?
My iPad. I bought it to read .pdfs for school so it is essentially just a fancy kindle/Simpsons Tapped Out machine and I love it so much.
11) Most and least favorite airport?
Most: Amsterdam; O’Hare because Tortas Frontera.
Least: Minneapolis and Midway, which are both objectively okay but leave me stranded pretty much always.
Simultaneously most/least: Denver and all its weird fucking pan-flute music/Masonry art/demon statues.
(I’ll tag/write questions after I go charity-walk in the rain and grade 80 papers. Ahaha. Weekends.)
It turns out I don’t have skin cancer; I’m just getting old.
Oh man I am just getting this weird sunspot checked out whyyyyyy do you need to know about my drinking habits and sexual history I am already feeling judged enough by the question about sustained sun exposure without sunscreen.