you've got time.

Last night I had a very vivid dream that I was enthusiastically explaining my favorite Game of Thrones plot twist to Carole from RHONY, so no, I do not think I watch too much television, thank you for asking.

word to the wise: always get so little sleep before a stressful event that you’re too tired to give a shit about anything

I think I’m over my conference presentation anxiety?

The best/worst part about this is that I dropped my phone in Target like a week ago and flat-out said, “isn’t it weird that I drop my phone all the time but still haven’t shattered the screen?”

The best/worst part about this is that I dropped my phone in Target like a week ago and flat-out said, “isn’t it weird that I drop my phone all the time but still haven’t shattered the screen?”

Not sure if the highlight of my week so far has been finding out I need $2000 worth of dental work, shattering my iPhone screen, or seeing my stalker!!!!

goodbye forever, my once-beloved can of chemicals

I never, ever in a million years thought this would happen, but I haven’t had a Diet Coke in seven weeks, and when my dad offered me one tonight, I was not even a little bit tempted? Like I was actually a little disgusted at the thought of the taste? So either Diet Coke deprivation is warping my brain OR I am finally free of its grip on my life in a way that just “cutting back” did not enable me to be.

Get in there, you sick fuck!

actual thing I just yelled at my fresh contact lens

The only thing standing between me and my trip to Wisconsin is 210 response papers.

The bad news is that I’m having grafting surgery this summer; the good news is that my surgeon walked in, said, “Do you watch Game of Thrones? You look like a young Catelyn Stark!” and then we proceeded to discuss last night’s episode in extensive detail.

I’m in the waiting room at the periodontist and they’re behind the desk talking about implants and bridges and bone grafts and maybe I should have eaten a heartier breakfast because I am about to pass the fuck out.

tumblr, you have missed the true purpose of tonight’s game of thrones

WHERE ARE THE VARYS FACIAL REACTION .GIFS?!